Sunday, September 19, 2010

An intimate evening with Naomi and Ryan

Naomi: "Ugh, I am so greasy from eating those chicken wings. I'm covered in chicken grease."

Ryan: "Well it's your own fault for getting the wings instead of pizza."

Naomi: "I didn't say it was a bad thing. Maybe I like being covered in chicken grease. If I had to be covered in something, chicken grease would be at the top of the list."

Ryan: [pause, suggestive look]

Naomi: "Yeah, that's way below chicken grease. Like, around number five."

Ryan: "Really?"

Naomi: "Yeah, One, chicken grease. Two, pretty clothes. Three -"

Ryan: "Chocolate-peanut butter sauce."

Naomi: "Of course. Three, chocolate-peanut butter sauce. Four, um...self-confidence. Then that."

Next Sunday Ryan and I are going on vacation to Orlando. Or that's the official line that I give to people. Privately we are going to DISNEYWORLD!!!DISNEY!!!MOTHERFUCKING!!!WORLD!!!YEAH!!! Because we are EXCITED. Ryan is way into Disney stuff. I think it's because he never went as a child. I personally am way into trips that don't require much effort, and an amusement park resort fits the bill pretty nicely. The Disney bus picks you up from the airport and takes you to the Disney hotel, then another Disney bus takes you to a Disney theme park, then you go on Disney rides and eat Disney food, and at night you take another Disney bus to a Disney night club, then back to your Disney hotel room. Disney, everywhere, non-stop. You sell your soul and a good portion of your brain, but it's so worth it.

Also, they brought Captain EO back last year after Michael Jackson died!! This is the greatest exploitation of personal tragedy since Memorial Day!

So now that we're within a week of the trip, the excitement levels are off the charts. We went on errands today, but not just any errands, Getting Ready For A Vacation Errands. Which, as you may know, are the best errands ever. Travel-sized toothpaste! Sport band-aids for blisters! Ponchos! Antacids!! No bread, because we already have enough bread for the next week!! Snacks!! Less than three ounces of various liquids!!! New tennis shoes, or is it too late to break in a new pair, because you don't want to be breaking them in on the trip because we only got the small box of blister band-aids!!!

And on it went, until we found ourselves at the deli counter of the Bloomington Walmart, where I made the fateful decision to get chicken wings instead of a slice of pizza, resulting in the above conversation. And then we went back to talking about Disney World.

So, just to recap: The only non-Disney related conversation Ryan and I had this afternoon was a lame bukakke joke.

We are the coolest people we know.

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