Sunday, March 6, 2011

Shaping up, Part 3

This is my last in this ad hoc series, because I don't want to become one of those people who constantly talk about their fitness regimen. It's really not that interesting, because I think on some level everyone is doing the same thing, or at least feeling really bad that they're not. So who am I to get in people's faces all the time and be like "Oh my god you guys, I just did so many squats, my glutes are solid FEEL THEM!"

(Side note: This recently happened to me. A friend invited me to feel his pecs. Awkward. It's not that I have anything against a congratulatory fondle, but it didn't seem like the appropriate thing to do in the middle of a crowded bar. Also, this may just be my weird sense of fairness, but I think touching someone's chest is an implied agreement that they get to touch yours.)

(Second-level side note, regarding the frequency of side notes as of late: I am finally going to see a psychiatrist about getting some Adderall. I have to wait over a month to see a doctor who's willing to prescribe a Schedule II drug, but...I don't know, something about gun control laws, probably. And outrage.)

And anyway, I haven't lost any weight yet. But something must be working, because I am hungry ALL THE TIME now. So maybe I'm growing muscle and I just need to ride this out for a couple weeks until my metabolism figures out what's going on. Still got chunky thighs, though, so I'll continue to soldier on.

They say (and by "they," I mean the health and wellness websites I read on my extremely-limited internet access at work) that a good exercise program should include aerobic, strength, and flexibility training. And I'm getting pretty good at the first two, but I've been putting off the last one, because I'm terrible at it.

Secret shame: I can't touch my toes. I've never been able to. It's why I never got a Presidential Fitness award in grade school (well, that and I couldn't be bothered to run for an entire mile). I've always blamed it on the fact that I have really long legs and a short torso, but I'm pretty sure that claim doesn't stand up to actual math, because my arms are long too. I'm just not flexible. At all. And it's really embarrassing, because who can't touch their toes? Everyone can, right? So I don't like to stretch at the gym because I don't want people to see that I can only get to about mid-calf without the fear of snapping some tendons, and not stretching makes me even less flexible, and it's a vicious cycle.

(There, now, that's all of my secrets. I'm an inflexible, weak girl with no sense of rhythm and flabby thighs. What do you say, fellas?)

Needless to say I am not ready to take a yoga class at the gym, but I do have a DVD. A DVD that I got a while back but haven't done yet, because of the shame. But now is as good a time as any to start, I figured, so tonight after dinner I loaded up the disc drive on the lapbook, cleared a Naomi-sized space on my bedroom floor, and did some yoga.


I'm not going to talk too much about the experience itself, because there are people far more interesting than me already doing that (and I use the word "people" loosely there), but here are a few observations:
  • Either doing yoga makes me dizzy, or doing yoga immediately after eating a hot dog makes me dizzy.
  • Controlling your breathing is harder than I thought it would be. I can do the "in for four, out for six" sort of thing, but coordinating it with a movement takes some practice. This may be the source of the dizziness.
  • For a practice that is supposed to be relaxing, there sure is a lot to think about when you're doing yoga. Inhale into the pose! Exhale to your fingertips! Keep your shoulders open! Something about chakras!
  • I'm not very good at visualization. At the end when you have to relax in the corpse pose (creepy name, by the way), I really had to work at it. Lower back, relax now! Butt, now it is your turn to relax! Shoulders, what the hell, you were supposed to relax three body parts ago DO NOT MAKE ME COME BACK THERE! Again, not very calming. I guess part of the purpose of yoga is to get better at keeping your mind calm. But then again, there are medications for that, and I'm pretty sure they don't involve bending at the waist.
  • I didn't feel tired, or like any of my muscles were fatigued, at the end of the workout, so I'm interested to see if I'm sore at all tomorrow morning.
  • I'm still feeling dizzy and a bit nauseous, and it's been like half an hour. If this turns me off from hot dogs I am gonna be pissed.
This is the start of my third week of exercising, and isn't that how long it's supposed to take to form a habit? 21 days? That could be an old wives' tale. The important thing is that I'm still doing it. And that I can shut up about it now.


Also: Hey, the blog looks different now! That's pretty cool, right? Looks like someone learned how to copy and paste two or three CSS codes!

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