Late night list

1. It's very late/very early and I am awake. I was asleep at one point,  but no longer. I woke up and started thinking about things, you know, the things that seem so important when you're half asleep and you can't stop thinking about them, but once they fully wake you up you realize it could've waited til morning, because what are you going to do at 2AM anyway? Write an email? The recipient will see the timestamp and think you're weird (note: please do not read the timestamp on this blog).

2. I cleaned my entire bathroom after Zumba class today, both rooms, and it was pretty gross because it's got dormered walls and I don't normally clean the parts I can't stand up straight in. Did you know that in the humidity of a bathroom, dirt becomes mud? And the dirt-mud all has hair in it so it forms this sort of caked-on matrix that sticks to every surface and doesn't wash off of your mop and rag. Anyway, that's my bathroom, gross and unclean, or at least it was until earlier tonight.

3. I have to go to work tomorrow, then the gym (Fitness Yoga? Do I have the balls? WE SHALL SEE.) then this show because I hate interactive theater only slightly less than getting ashes put on my forehead, especially with bangs (the bangs affect only the ashes, not the theater. That was a poorly worded sentence). Why am I awake? See #1; and also, I don't want to jump to conclusions or anything but I started taking Adderall today. That might have influenced #2 as well. I don't know; I also had a big mocha at lunch. Right now I'm choosing to focus on how badass it is to have a bottle labeled "AMPHETAMINE 5MG" in my purse. Even though I know it's not badass at all, not even for me (I used to take Dexatrim all the time in high school, which was insane, because I weighted like 130 pounds and even back then people knew how dangerous ephedrine was. How am I still alive, right?).

4. Anyway, I'm obviously still rambling, and last night I was going to split an apple with Ryan and on my way into his bedroom got sidetracked for 15 minutes putting my laundry away, and I'm fighting with every fiber of my being the impulse to make a Charlie Sheen joke right now. So based on all of that I'm starting do doubt the efficacy of Adderall, unless the goal is to keep you awake long enough to get more shit done. Not sure how that would help with forgetfulness, but I'm no doctor. Oh, speaking of doctors, the psychiatrist I saw kept asking me the same questions over and over again, and I'm pretty sure it was because he was making sure I wasn't lying about having ADD (because Adderall's a controlled substance and commonly abused I KNOW BADASS RIGHT?), but it's a little unsettling to be seeing a doctor who seems more forgetful than you are.

5. Damn, prescriptions are expensive. This is a fact you do not appreciate until you have a $3000 deductible.

6. Maybe if I ate something I'd fall asleep? I didn't have dinner (which is what reminded me about the Dexatrim, random I guess) so it would be that too-empty stomach situation so I might get a belly ache. Also, I'd have to brush my teeth and I would like my sink to stay clean for at least eight hours.

7. I need to make the chicken in the fridge. I could stick it in the crock pot, but (see #3) I won't be home until very late tomorrow, which is actually today.

8. I could go shovel the snow that's still coming down, but my boots are in my car which is on the wrong side of the snow from my bed; also, I am not wearing pants.

9. Winning, duh! Damnit, Beck...

10. Nutella. Got some at Target yesterday while I was waiting for my prescription. Nutella, then lying quietly for...three hours, really?...until I have to go to work. Done.


Good night, sort of. I hope.

(Bonus #11: Have you ever tried to proofread something you wrote at 3AM? Yikes. And I'm probably not catching all of the errors. I apologize in advance, although by the time you read this, it will actually be too late.)

Shaping up, Part 3

This is my last in this ad hoc series, because I don't want to become one of those people who constantly talk about their fitness regimen. It's really not that interesting, because I think on some level everyone is doing the same thing, or at least feeling really bad that they're not. So who am I to get in people's faces all the time and be like "Oh my god you guys, I just did so many squats, my glutes are solid FEEL THEM!"

(Side note: This recently happened to me. A friend invited me to feel his pecs. Awkward. It's not that I have anything against a congratulatory fondle, but it didn't seem like the appropriate thing to do in the middle of a crowded bar. Also, this may just be my weird sense of fairness, but I think touching someone's chest is an implied agreement that they get to touch yours.)

(Second-level side note, regarding the frequency of side notes as of late: I am finally going to see a psychiatrist about getting some Adderall. I have to wait over a month to see a doctor who's willing to prescribe a Schedule II drug, but...I don't know, something about gun control laws, probably. And outrage.)

And anyway, I haven't lost any weight yet. But something must be working, because I am hungry ALL THE TIME now. So maybe I'm growing muscle and I just need to ride this out for a couple weeks until my metabolism figures out what's going on. Still got chunky thighs, though, so I'll continue to soldier on.

They say (and by "they," I mean the health and wellness websites I read on my extremely-limited internet access at work) that a good exercise program should include aerobic, strength, and flexibility training. And I'm getting pretty good at the first two, but I've been putting off the last one, because I'm terrible at it.

Secret shame: I can't touch my toes. I've never been able to. It's why I never got a Presidential Fitness award in grade school (well, that and I couldn't be bothered to run for an entire mile). I've always blamed it on the fact that I have really long legs and a short torso, but I'm pretty sure that claim doesn't stand up to actual math, because my arms are long too. I'm just not flexible. At all. And it's really embarrassing, because who can't touch their toes? Everyone can, right? So I don't like to stretch at the gym because I don't want people to see that I can only get to about mid-calf without the fear of snapping some tendons, and not stretching makes me even less flexible, and it's a vicious cycle.

(There, now, that's all of my secrets. I'm an inflexible, weak girl with no sense of rhythm and flabby thighs. What do you say, fellas?)

Needless to say I am not ready to take a yoga class at the gym, but I do have a DVD. A DVD that I got a while back but haven't done yet, because of the shame. But now is as good a time as any to start, I figured, so tonight after dinner I loaded up the disc drive on the lapbook, cleared a Naomi-sized space on my bedroom floor, and did some yoga.


I'm not going to talk too much about the experience itself, because there are people far more interesting than me already doing that (and I use the word "people" loosely there), but here are a few observations:

• Either doing yoga makes me dizzy, or doing yoga immediately after eating a hot dog makes me dizzy.
• Controlling your breathing is harder than I thought it would be. I can do the "in for four, out for six" sort of thing, but coordinating it with a movement takes some practice. This may be the source of the dizziness.
• For a practice that is supposed to be relaxing, there sure is a lot to think about when you're doing yoga. Inhale into the pose! Exhale to your fingertips! Keep your shoulders open! Something about chakras!
• I'm not very good at visualization. At the end when you have to relax in the corpse pose (creepy name, by the way), I really had to work at it. Lower back, relax now! Butt, now it is your turn to relax! Shoulders, what the hell, you were supposed to relax three body parts ago DO NOT MAKE ME COME BACK THERE! Again, not very calming. I guess part of the purpose of yoga is to get better at keeping your mind calm. But then again, there are medications for that, and I'm pretty sure they don't involve bending at the waist.
• I didn't feel tired, or like any of my muscles were fatigued, at the end of the workout, so I'm interested to see if I'm sore at all tomorrow morning.
• I'm still feeling dizzy and a bit nauseous, and it's been like half an hour. If this turns me off from hot dogs I am gonna be pissed.

This is the start of my third week of exercising, and isn't that how long it's supposed to take to form a habit? 21 days? That could be an old wives' tale. The important thing is that I'm still doing it. And that I can shut up about it now.


Also: Hey, the blog looks different now! That's pretty cool, right? Looks like someone learned how to copy and paste two or three CSS codes!